I Hate My Vagina
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Sex has always been violently painful for me. At times to the point where I end up in the bathroom dry wretching from the pain. I suffer in silence. You see, it tends to put a downer on those girly conversations around the table. The cause of Dyspareunia can be physical or psychological. It causes my body to tense from a look of desire from my husband. My husband is patient, and kind and understanding, and patient, did I mention how patient he is?
He loves me, and desires me. I wanted to highlight this condition.
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True Crime. Before The Bump. Parent Opinion. Lady Startup. General Opinion. I loved the idea of a home birth, but the reality of what could go wrong was just too scary for me so I decided on the Aveta Birth Centre in Cheltenham.
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I was pretty keen to avoid intervention if I could and I had heard horror stories about doctors being a bit quick to give an episiotomy, a surgical cut at the opening of the vagina during childbirth, to aid a difficult delivery. A scalpel slicing my vagina was not something I was keen on happening. I had been attending the Lotus Bud Pregnancy Yoga classes in Cheltenham since I was 14 weeks pregnant - my teacher trained yoga teachers in birth preparation, so I figured she had to be good. I also armed myself with the Midwife in a Box kit, which contained some handy perineum massage oil, a cooling spray and essential oils for soothing compresses.
I was under no illusion that my vagina was going to need as much help it could get — before, during and after. When the big day finally arrived, in March , I was pretty terrified, but my husband, photographer, Jack, 38, had been preparing for labour nearly as much as I had and he turned out to be the most amazing birth partner.
My waters stayed intact right up until the last hour and when they broke after a whiff of clary sage which is said to bring labour on my baby started descending fast. This was the point at which my husband really impressed the midwife, as he whipped out a hand warmer, cracked it and pressed it up against my perineum as I pushed.
Despite all our efforts, there was no avoiding the tears I suffered, as my baby shot out like a bullet. I ripped the inner wall of my vagina and tore my labia in half.
I chugged away on gas and air as I got my stitches and later, my husband told me it looked like a car crash down there. In the following weeks, I applied propolis ointment and Hypercal cream to my stitches every day and bathed in salt baths regularly. I started to heal up remarkably fast.
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Just one week later, my midwife came over to check on my stitches and actually said that whoever had done them was an artist. When my husband and I finally braved having sex again, three months later, I was quietly concerned that it would be bad for both of us — not only sore for me, but looser than before.
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I never would have imagined it, but a natural birth and stitches has actually improved my vagina, not ruined it as I had always feared. Love baby news? Well meet mum Sarah - who gave birth in a forest and was watched by 1. And this mum gave birth outside a strip club Love real life stories? We're always on the lookout for case studies to feature on Fabulous Online.